Song Lyrics

How To Be A Cannonball appears onHow To Be A Cannonball

The Ballad of Cap'n Sandy

by Alex McMurray Velvety Pod Music (BMI)

Do the Cap'n Sandy dance wear the Cap'n Sandy Pants

Listen while he raves and rants he's Cap'n Fucking Sandy

Cap'n Sandy lives alone, works alone, sleeps alone

Listen to him bitch and moan he's Cap'n Fucking Sandy

Hand me down my shiny boots my dear

Captain Sandy drinks his weight in beer

When Cap'n Sandy takes a bow no one applauds

They don't know how

He dreams of scuttling the scow

He's Cap'n Sandy


Oh where oh where's the skipper been? His grip on things is loosening

And what's behind the toothless grin of Captain Fucking Sandy?

Cap'n Sandy's at the wharf he's drinking with his favorite dwarf

Run and see the sane man morph into Captain Fucking Sandy!

Aaargh! He doth command a crew of One

Bit by bit the Captain's come undone Oh!

Why does Cap'n Sandy drool?

He failed mouseketeering school

Face down in the swimming pool is Captain Fucking Sandy


Walk the plank! Skip the rope!

I'll keelhaul the lot of y'all!


Oh Mick and Min and all the gang all came down to see him hang

Who was it in the crowd that sang "It's Captain Fucking Sandy"?

He was lifted from the noose He grabbed his Captain Sandy boots

Lock your doors--he's on the loose It's Captain Fucking Sandy

Drink your troubles by the cup my friends

Captain Sandy breaks before he bends


Captain Sandy disappeared he's gone they say with all his gear

But sailor's hearts still know the fear of Captain Fucking Sandy